Moroccan Marriage

Unfortantely I am going to have to lay off photos on the blog for a few days. After all the problems that I have had using them, I went and got a virus on my camera. I didn't even know that was possible...Luckily I had already made a cd of the photos, so I merely formatted the camera memory...Still, I'll not be connecting my camera to any more of the computers in Errachidia...So that is that....

Now for...MOROCCAN MARRIAGE...

The rumors started yesterday afternoon that there was a marriage happening in town. I didn't really know what was going on, but suddenly Abdelhak's mother was wearing dark eye makeup and saying there was a wedding. And then that there was no wedding. And in the end, there was a wedding...Communication is interesting sometimes here...

Marriage is a huge affair here, and seems to be one of the most talked about affairs in the region. I have seen already numerous videos of people's marriages, and it seems that Abdelhak's mother (and other members of the family) will not rest until I have promised to get married here in Errachidia. I have tried to explain that I will have to talk that over with the girl I hopefully will someday meet, but that doesn't seem to work, since they still have not let up in their efforts.

And so, although I was exhausted form a trip earlier yesterday to the nearby natural springs of Meski, I knew that I would have to make the trip--per forza--to the wedding.

Marriages here are a three day affair, and yesterday was the first night. On the first night, the bride is decorated with intricate henna designs on her hands and feet and the bride and groom are paraded before the public in what seems to be the true announcement of their union. It is not, interestingly enough, until the third night that the couple consummates the marriage.

We followed the sounds of music through the dark streets and finally came across the house where the marriage was being celebrated. We were invited to enter and join the festivities. Six of uss passed by the young men sitting outside and walked down a long corridor, finally arriving at the interior patio and garden of the large adobe house.

The patio had been decorated for the night, and most of the packed dirt floor was covered in rugs and mats. Lights were strung across the open space, radiating off the palms and vegetables of the garden. In the far left corner of the room sat the two seat gold and silver throne used in marriages here, and beside that sat a smaller silver throne destined for only one person.

The music was loud, blaring from the speakers set up around the room. Young men leaned against the wall closest to the entrance, and little boys and a mentally retarded man danced without inhibition. Across the room sat a group of women, most of the young and beautiful in their flowing, brightly colored djalabas and head scarves. On the right side of the room, behind a thin curtain, another group of women sat or danced and clapped. Every few minutes the room would echo with a strange piercing warble, a sound that women here make at celebrations. Half covering their mouth, they wiggle their tongue and screech, creating a primal, beautiful sound that seems to enhance any music played here.

I entered, and stood with my friends by the front wall, checking out the place. Everything seemed to dazzle, the walls to shake with the music. I was made to dance, pulled along by friends and young kids, pushed and prodded and prompted to try myriad new dance steps, to shake my ass and wave my hands and thrust my hips.

My normal reticence in the public body rhythm department was greatly enhanced by the knowledge that I was being watched from every angle. Little boys looked at me, smiling and holding out their hands to slap me five or shake my hand. Men my age offered me tea and shook my hand, welcoming me into their house. Old women made sure to tell me that I needed to dance, that I was obliged to do so. And the tea cup was filled and replaced again and again and again.

Most importantly, and perhaps most noticeably, the women across the room would not stop staring at me, giggling and smiling whenever I looked over. Some of them were beautiful, and I could have happily passed the evening staring back at them, if I weren't still so damn ignorant about how these things work here and not just a tiny bit scared of getting dragged off and shot for disrepecting somebody's daughter.

I don't think it is time yet to start patting myself on the back too much, however, as I imagine that I could be the ugliest man in the universe and would still get stared at here. Maybe just a little pat on the back. Well, perhaps a medium one while I'm at it. And one more for good measure.

Anyway, so there I was dancing badly and smiling at girls across the room and shaking people's hands, and drinking tea and yelling at one of my friends to stop grabbing my damn arm so much (he doesn't speak French or English, and so he mostly commmunicates with me by grabbing me constantly and saying my name over and over, which to be honest, is sort of driving me fricking nuts, but he's a good guy nonetheless). Everyone is singing and clapping and warbling and slurping tea, and suddenly a fight breaks out between the sort of retarded guy and another guy (who everyone tells me is "also crazy") and these two guys are falling into the garden and punching eachother.

Some people pulled them the instigator out of the house, and the other guy picked up a soda crate and ran out after him. And then basically every male in the place ran outside to watch what might be a fight. Every male, that is, except me, since I was still sort of staring at the girls (I figured it was a safe time to do so) and Abdelhak, who I think stayed behind to block the door if I got any ideas about going to see the fight. Overprotection is the name of the game with my friends here.

At some point in the night, a chain of women came dancing in the door, playing drums and singing a song that basically said, "they're here, they're here, the bride's gifts are here." On their heads they carried blankets and floor coverings and silver tea pots and tea glasses. They danced through singing and drumming, and then disappeared into the interior of the house, only to appear a few minutes later with still more gifts for the bride's new family.

A few hours later, the bride and groom both appeared, and were made to sit on the large silver and gold throne in the corner of the room. True to what I had seen in the videos, they were extremely serious, stone faced, and to me looked absolutely miserable, although I am told that is not the case. Around their serious faces danced the women, and old women waved scarves at the couple and danced on the throne and warbled at top volume.

Other people climbed up beside the couple and stood for pictures, adopting truly serious faces as well, looking like they were at a funeral until they stepped down again and started dancing. The music continued and the tea kept flowing and the guests kept coming, bring gifts and dancing with everyone else.

Interestingly, four of my friends (Abdou and three others) were pulled aside and "tapped" for the very important job needed for the next part of the ceremony. (I say 'interestingly' because I don't think that any of them were really invited). They were brought into a back room and dressed up in a strange blue and white pants and shirt outfit. They were given a white cape and white gloves, and a funny little hat. Walking out into the main room, they waited until the bride came down from her shared thrown and climbed into the smaller one-person one beside it.

And then they picked her up and started dancing what seemed to be a carefully choreographed dance. They bounced her up and down and lifted her up as high as their shoulders and then brought here down and held their capes out like Batman and danced around the seat. All the while the music blared and the people danced and clapped and warbled.

After the woman was done, the man got into the throne, the same song was played again, and the same thing happened. This time with the help, the four of them picked up the throne and danced the same dance, swirling and bouncing and singing.

After this part of the ceremony, things seemed to go back to 'normal' and it was the same thing of dancing and singing and drinking tea. My friends and I stayed the last few hours on the right side of the room, checking out the ladies, trying to avoid the guy handing out tea, and dancing a little as well. We finally left around two-thirty, yawning and yearning for bed. Amazingly, the party showed no signs of slowing and the news that we were leaving was met with groans and attempts to make us stay.

And tonight, part II, which I think involves something with the groom riding a horse, but it's all rather confusing for a first-timer. Tonight the music is live as well, which should be great.

There is so much more to tell about so many other things. This place still makes my head spin, I feel like there is so much I want to investigate and that there is so much to learn and try to understand. But, there is always more time...

Coming soon (inshallah):

1. The Marriage (part II)
2. The Saturday Souq
3. Moroccans and Fighting
4. Moroccans and the Environment

I hope that you are all well, and thanks for reading. Please tell your friends and family to come check it out as well. Have a nice day.