SEX in Morocco

Well, my anthropological inquiries keep producing juicier and juicier insights and social secrets....Read below.

I had a very interesting conversation today with a young Moroccan. This 23 or 24 year old man and I discussed, over about the course of an hour, such topics as marriage, the role of women in a Muslim society, divorce, and, incredibly, even sex.

While I do not wish to mention the identity of this fellow, I must say that I know him quite well, and that his integrity and honesty are not to be doubted. He is a very serious young man, to the point of exaggeration at times, and is quite devout in his religous practices. His insights and information are always quite helpful.

As we spoke about all of these topics, I asked him when he wished to get married, and he told me that he wanted to wait until he was thirty four or thirty five. He explained to me that changing societal norms had made this a possibility, as opposed to the era in which his parents were married, in the late 1960s or early 1970s. At that time, his father was twenty years old, and his own father (my friend's grandfather) decided that it was time for him to get married. His bride (my friend's mother) was a mere thirteen years old, still a young girl.

Apparently such marriages were not uncommon, though they are now. Men would marry very young girls, and they would wait until they were of child-bearing age before engaging in sexual relations. My friend described this age with a hand motion that indicated the growing of breasts.

With all of this in mind, I asked my friend a question that I have recently been asking of many people--What about sex? In a society in which the "purity" of the woman is paramount, what does a young man that wants to be married at thirty five do about sex? Does he remain celibate? Does he visit with prostitutes, as many of my somewhat less religiously-observant friends apparently do? Does he find a girl who is not overly preoccupied with her own "purity".

The problem, see, is that sexual purity here is not a matter of debate. Most men (at least according to my friend--I have not conducted any scientific research) will immediately divorce a woman if there is no staining of the nuptial sheets on the wedding night. This divorce could take place as soon as one or two days after the wedding itself (often a week long affair on its own).

And so, any woman that has sex before marriage risks a public social shaming, ostracization, and an embarassing return to her natal home. Luckily, modern laws prevent the use of the traditional punishment here, apparently espoused by the Prophet himself--death by stoning. Still, her punishment is not something to be taken lightly.

So, I ask again, what are young men and women to do? Sex is natural, and obviously impossible to completely control, especially in a society that is more and more open to globalization, foreign values, and the like.

Well, dear readers, the answer from my serious young friend suprised me a great deal, even though I heard a similar statement from a friend just a few days ago.

They have anal sex.

That's it. That is the answer to the maintaining of feminine purity, the prevention of pregnancy. This is how young people have sex and keep the hymen intact. This is how young people show their love and express their sexual desires.

They have anal sex.

I have little more to say on this issue for today, and I think that I will just leave it at that--give the readers something to chew on.

Only eleven or twelve days left in Morocco...stay tuned.