capuchin crypt

I have not got much time to write at the moment, but I wanted to post some images of a place that I visited yesterday, the Capuchin Crypt in Rome.

- Long Story Short - These monks (between 1500 and 1800) decorated chapels with human bones and mummies (of their deceased fellow monks, as well as a few aristocratic children and poor Romans). You can read about it on Wikipedia here.

It was, without a doubt, one of the craziest places I have ever visited. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to take pictures inside, so I have included some shots that I found on the internet. In some cases, the quality of the photos leaves something to be desired.

The Eternal City

I have arrived in Rome safe and sound. I have spent the last few days eating well, walking the city streets, and strolling through ruins.

I will have pictures and more description soon.

Older STuff

I just published my last post, but I figured that I would take advantage of this super-speedy internet and put up a few photos of the recent pig-roast in Asheville. I've decided to not include the somewhat more disturbing pre-spit, pre-cooking photos, and err on the side of discretion.

I'm also including a video that I made here of a man using something similar to "worry beads". I forget the term for this thing, but it is basically a piece of string with a ball at each end. Men and women here use these (and true worry beads, which more resemble rosary beads sans crucifix) to calm themselves (thus the term, "worry beads"). I bought a pair, but I still haven't figured out how to make them dance as this man does. The video quality isn't the best, since I was stupidly facing the brightly lit outdoors, but you can get the point.

By the way, thanks for everyone's comments of late. Keep 'em coming.

Enjoy.

Photos

All is going swimmingly here in Athens, Greece. Today is our last day -- tomorrow we leave bright and early (6 am) for the airport to catch our flight to Rome.

Yesterday we visited Cape Sounion, a lovely spot a few hours outside of Athens, and the site of the impressive ruins of a temple dedicated to Poseidon. On the way back we hassled the amiable bus driver until he consented to drop us at the beach for an hour. 'Twas my first time in the Aegean sea -- lovely temperatures and extreme salinity would describe it well.

Here are a few photos of the trip thus far for all to enjoy. Treat yourself!


MARKET

FISH, MARKET

MEAT, MARKET

FISH, MARKET

TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER


ACROPOLIS BY NIGHT

DELPHI, ATHENIAN TREASURY

BUSTED SCULPTURE, ARCHEOLOGICAL MUSEUM

Athens

Below is a copied version of the blog that I wrote for Abbey Road. The Abbey Road blog is closed to those that aren't associated with the program, but seeing as I've not disclosed anything personal in this post, I figured that I'd share with y'all. And this way, I don't have to write the same thing twice.

I'll write some more soon, share some pictures, and tell a bit more about my personal experiences thus far in Athens. This blog should suffice for now, along with the declaration that Greece seems to be an amazing, beautiful place. The food is spectacular, the people are interesting (sometimes quite friendly, sometimes downright rude, often loud, though occasionally reserved...they are still an enigma to me).

That's all for now -- Check out the post below and remember that I wrote it with the parents of my students in mind. I'll return with my regular writing style soon.

--------------------
*Note: This post was written yesterday, but I had problems with publishing it.

Hello to all from beautiful Athens, Greece!

This is Chris Bond, your dedicated Program Director and Resident Blogger, here to offer you a bit of a taste of our recent travel and excitement.

We arrived on Tuesday evening to Athens, after running through JFK boarding areas (we were changed to an earlier flight, as our scheduled flight was running late and would have caused us to miss our connecting flight in Paris), sitting on a long transatlantic flight (cramped seats, delicious French fare), biding our time in the Paris airport, and finally flying for the last time.

We were all tired and sweaty, though a quick shower for some fixed that, and our excitement at having finally arrived carried us through the night. We dined the first night at a local restaurant (here in the Plaka neighborhood of Athens). The food was delicious and plentiful -- Greek salad, cheese pies, tzatziki, and kebabs -- and we greatly appreciated the cold, crisp water after our intercontinental experiences.

This neighborhood is beautiful. It is a traditionally residential area made of winding streets and old apartments at the foot of the Acropolis. Walking to dinner along the steeply angled streets, the Parthenon rising above us, elegantly lit and shining, we all rejoiced at our luck to be in such a beautiful place.

On Wednesday we began to settle in to our new (temporary) home. We took a walking tour around the city, getting to know some of the neighborhoods, visiting Parliament, the Athenian Temple of Zeus, the Arch of Hadrian, the 1896 Olympic site, and the beautiful city gardens. For dinner, we brought a picnic up the Acropolis. We all joined in making sandwiches and Greek salad, and for dessert we enjoyed oranges and cherries. Afterwards, we joined locals on a rocky mount that rises up high above the city, offering a gorgeous view of the nearby Acropolis, the surrounding, sprawling city, and the mountains that border it all.

Thursday was another beautiful, cloudless, very hot day here in Athens. We walked up the Acropolis again, and this time had the opportunity to go inside and tour the magnificent ruins. The Parthenon was, of course, the center of attention, though the entire site was truly beautiful. John and Victoria led a very interesting class in the shadow of the Acropolis, and we all learned a great deal about the Golden Age of Athens.

In the afternoon, we toured around some more of Athens, discovering some lovely areas within walking distance of our hotel. After showering and resting (out of the sun for a bit), we walked over to the Psiri neighborhood, where all enjoyed a delicious dinner and a stroll around the busy pedestrian streets.

And finally -- today. We left this morning on a bus to visit Delphi, an absolutely stunning archeological site about two hours outside of Athens. This was the famous temple site where the most famous of the Oracles offered her prophecies to pilgrims (prophecies, which, we learned, were most likely based on visions caused by the ether rising up through fissures in the rock upon which she sat).

There is still much to do in Athens, and our next few days will be busy with museums, archeological sites, expeditions. The students seem extremely excited by Monday's planned trip to the beach outside of Athens.

I will try and get some pictures up soon for all to enjoy, though at the moment I'm a bit pressed for time (tonight we'll be attending a dance exposition at a theatre on a hill) at the moment. Until then, please feel free to contact me for anything you need, and have a great day.

Chris

Leaving Town

I'm in Jersey right now, packing and preparing at my parents' house for my imminent departure for Mediterranean lands. I'll be working for 4 weeks or so -- in Athens, Rome, Florence and Paris (one week in each place), followed by a ten-day trip around France with the young Miss Beth.

I've never been to Greece, and I've traveled very little in France (a number of times in Paris, and once in Strasbourg), so any advice, recommendations, etc, are of course very welcome.

I'll get those pictures of the pig pickin' up soon enough -- don't despair. I hope that all are well.

Pig Pickin'

Yesterday I hosted a pig pickin' here in Asheville. We roasted a forty-pound pig over a wood fire. 'Twas delicious.

I'll put pictures up soon.

StRange

Oil!

Thomas Friedman gets mad

And on the subject of oil, if you haven't yet seen "There Will Be Blood," you should go rent it immediately. 'Tis quite amazing.

48 Hour Film Project

I've just made some very strange music on Garage Band, and I would like to share with y'all.

The music is to be used on the soundtrack of a film that some friends are making for the 48 Hour Film Festival here in Asheville. The idea of the Festival is:

At seven o' clock on a Friday night (this year, this was yesterday), people must report to a central location where they are given a film genre, a line of dialogue, a character name and description, and one prop. They then have forty-eight hours to make a film and hand it in to be judged and screened.

So I'm the soundtrack guy, making a soundtrack to a film that I've never seen. And it is quite strange music indeed.

Oh, and their character was a printer, thus all the printer references. Enjoy.

And another "Oh" -- I wrote and recorded all of these songs today -- Just bear that in mind when listening.

(And sorry for the crap writing -- it has been a long day)

Enjoy!

Don Quixote
Finger Harp
I'll Never Print Again
The Printer
Zufolare

Imminent Departure

One week from today I fly back to Jersey, where I'll rest for a few days before heading off to Europe. I will once again be working for Abbey Road (a company that specializes in study-abroad programs for high school students). We'll be spending one week in each of the following cities: Athens, Rome, Florence, and Paris.

The students will be studying Western Civilization by learning about major moments in history in the places where they have happened. I'll be doing the same, though I'll surely also be spending most of my time on somewhat more mundane matters.

Not that I'm complaining. There are worse places in the world to be working.

After the completion of the program, I'll be hanging around France for another ten days. Beth will be coming over to visit me during that time.

In other matters, my ribcage is finally beginning to return to normal. I'm in somewhat less pain than I was -- I can, for instance, now sit up without screaming. I can also walk without limping, wincing, and holding my side. This is a good thing.

Finally, I've got some more pictures of my garden to share. If you're bored of these types of photos, sorry. I'm just too excited about these growing plants not to share.

Enjoy.

SQUASH AND ZUCCHINI PLANTS

SQUASH FLOWER

SWISS CHARD

TOMATO

TOMATO

JAPANESE EGGPLANT

STRING BEAN

Tomato

I have two baby tomatoes growing on my tomato plants!

And an eggplant!

Garden and Rock

Some more photos of the garden and its delights below. Also enjoy a picture of me (looking a bit scary) from Sirius.B's recent show at the Garage at Biltmore.

Very few of the plants have yet to bear fruit, though I have been enjoying the Swiss Chard and the Mustard Greens with delightful abandon. Radishes (as is obvious from the photo) have also been popping out, though I seem to only get about one a day or so that seem ready to pull.

BASIL

WATERMELON

RADISH

GARDEN (SEE SQUASH AND ZUCCHINI ON LEFT)

GARDEN

TOMATO PLANTS

JAPANESE EGGPLANT

Leaving the garden for a minute, find below a picture of me from the Garage at Biltmore (Photo by Zen, a student of mine and a local photographer). I believe that I may have just broken a string, thus my guitar-less presence on stage.

ME, AT THE GARAGE

A HARD FALL

This is the first "personal" post in quite some time. A brief tale:

On Tuesday night, relaxing at a friend's house, enjoying the company, snacks, and drinks on offer, I leaned against a porch railing. Said porch sat a comfortable two to three feet off of the ground and said railing, replete with vertical and horizontal wooden pieces, was stabilized by one lone, rusty nail.

Being ignorant of the presence of only one stabilizing nail, I leaned against this railing with little trepidation and promptly found myself hurled two to three feet down and as many feet backwards at an alarming rate. I fell on my back and side, tumbled over, and landed finally on the earth with the entire railing and vertical slats atop my body. My knee was bleeding and I was rather disoriented, but I felt otherwise okay. The alarmed shouts and stares (and surprised laughter) of my friends seemed unjustified (besides the laughter, of course, which seemed quite justified).

Within a few hours, however, their alarm seemed quite understandable, as the pain on my left side, at the bottom and below my rib cage, was quite severe. I spent the night in pain and the next day in the hospital.

In the end, it appears that I had only greatly bruised my rib. I may have a slight fracture, though it was probably only a contusion. Unfortunately, as the original x-rays revealed no fracture, the medical professionals were worried that I may have ruptured or otherwise damaged my spleen or a kidney, and so I was asked to undergo a CT scan. In the end, as I have said, this scan revealed only that I had badly bruised my rib and the surrounding tissue.

And so, I am thankfully okay, though still in pain, and merely hoping at this point that the owner of my friend's house (not my friend) does not rise up in anger when he is informed that he will be paying for my medical bills.

Quite an adventurous day in the end.

(*Note: If this post seems a bit too shamefully poetic or somewhat garbled, forgive me. I blame the pain medication that I've been prescribed)

In addition to all of that, I wish to share a rather strange video with you all -- 'tis a press conference given by Tom Waits regarding his upcoming tour. Enjoy.

Gardening

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I've been spending a lot of time recently in my garden. I started this project a few months ago, planting incredibly small seeds in "peat pots" (small biodegradable pots filled with peat moss). Once the seeds had become seedlings, I eventually moved them into the carefully-planned garden plot and hoped that no late-season frosts would kill them.

In the last few weeks, my plants have taken off at an amazing rate. These pictures below were only taken three or four days ago, and yet I barely recognize this land as my own. The tomato plants are now nearly twice the size that they were in this photo, and my squash and zucchini plants have grown at a similarly exponential rate.

Thus far, I have planted:

Tomatoes
Zucchini
Squash
Mustard Greens
Sage
Rosemary
Cilantro
Lavender
Cucumber (will probably die)
Watermelon
Pole Beans
Japanese Eggplant
Beets
Radishes
Blackberries
Cantaloupe (will probably die as well)
Chili Peppers
Dill
Swiss Chard

Below you can see a few pictures -- I'll be updating this soon with new photos. Unfortunately, much of my garden will truly flourish (I hope) during the time that I am away. I'll still enjoy most of it when I return home, of course, and I'm already enjoying certain parts of it (In particular the mustard and chard, which are producing delicious greens already).

PHONES

I just read this amazing article in the NY Times about free cell phone services -- Check it out!

Here

Also, pictures of the garden and my recent trip coming soon!

Weinstein in the Woods

My good friends Mr. and Mrs. Weinstein came down for a visit this weekend. We had a lovely time -- BBQ-ing, hiking, campfire-ing, and living large at some local dining establishments. All in all, 'twas a great visit, and it was a sad thing watch my friends depart. My inkwell continues to run rather dry, but I'm once again attaching some photographs to give you some idea of what's going on.

Enjoy!

Recent Life

Things have been busy around here, and with the onset of the spring weather, I haven't really felt the need or desire to publish anything in this forum.

One thing is that I've been spending a lot of my time in the garden that I've set up outside my house. I hope to have some pictures soon to show you all the progress that I'm making. I've unfortunately not been keeping up thus far with photos of the plot -- 'tis a shame, for I would have liked to share some sort of day-by-day slide show of growth.

That said, I'm sorry nonetheless for the lack of posts lately -- I'll keep trying to improve, though I make no promises. Here, however, are some pictures of some bits of recent life. More to come soon.

Enjoy.

Max Patch (Western North Carolina)

Front Lawn Acrobatics (1 of 3)

Front Lawn Acrobatics (2 of 3)

Front Lawn Acrobatics (3 of 3)

Middle Eastern Dinner Party (1 of 3)

Middle Eastern Dinner Party (2 of 3)

Middle Eastern Dinner Party (3 of 3)

Post-Dinner Party Dancing

How the 7th Graders that I've been substitute-teaching for see me.

Our Great President

For the first time today George W. Bush made me smile.

Scratch that -- For the first time today, George W. Bush made me smile for any reason other than involuntarily flexing my mouth muscles whilst laughing at one of his famous gaffs.

I opened up my bank account and found money in it! I received my much awaited economic stimulus rebate. Now granted, this money that I now have will probably do a great part in ensuring that we experience another Great Depression, and I will probably end up hating baked beans as much as my maternal grandmother does. But I've got money!

To make myself very clear: I find this economic stimulus package idea to be as dumb an idea as the gasoline tax "vacation" now being considered, but like a starving Roman receiving bread and a chance to see a Christian get gored by a lion, I'm all smiles today.

In other news:

I drove to Winston-Salem yesterday (about two and a half hours) to meet with bosses and colleagues about my summer job. This year, rather than going to Southern Spain, I will be traveling as the Director on the Abbey Road Western Civilization Tour. We will trace the path of the civilized White Man through the ages, following his accomplishments from Athens to Rome to Florence to Paris.

Sirius.B has another show this Saturday, at BoBo, a local art gallery / bar / music venue where we have played many times. I consider this show to be a 2nd Record Release, coming as it does just on the coattails of our true record release last week at the Rocket Club. -- And speaking of the Rocket Club, the show was a great success--the audience numbered somewhere in the ballpark of 250 people, all dancing, carousing, and singing along. The bar was so unprepared for this turnout that they ran out of clean glasses and at one point were turning away thirsty revelers.

You can still buy the CD online at www.siriusbmusic.com

More soon.

CD

Okay, okay already! I'm back.

The "fans" (read: my Dad and one friend) have been knocking down my door, demanding that I post, complaining that their days feel empty without a little bit of Pancho to fill 'em up. So here I am.

As I've mentioned in all of my explanatory / excuse me posts, I've been quite busy here in Asheville, North Carolina. I continue to stroll through the world of the gainfully unemployed, working a variety of jobs, changing hats and trousers in both a metaphorical and very real sense.

Yesterday, for instance, I spent the better part of the day digging holes, planting shrubbery, cutting trees (with a chainsaw! a lifelong aspiration...) and hanging out with my mountainy counterparts on the jobsite. Immediately after finishing work, I drove home like a maniac, showered my beaten, tired, scratched body, changed my clothes, and left the house to teach a Spanish class for adults. And then this morning I woke early to tutor high school students and substitute teach at a middle school.

So I've been busy.

And tomorrow is the record release show for Sirius.B, my band here in NC. We'll be releasing our debut album, Dazzling Urbanites, and celebrating the event with a huge show at the Rocket Club, a new music venue here in town. As an opening act, we've secured the services of Bootstraps Burlesque, the newest burlesque act in Asheville. (You can read about them and the show here.)

If you're interested in buying a CD or coming to the show (if you're local), just vist www.siriusbmusic.com. It is all available there.

I hope not to disappoint anymore. Consider this my triumphant return to the wonderful world of blogging.

A-Ville in the News

Check out this great cartoon strip in the NY Times about Asheville. Gordon Smith is a friend and neighbor, and the Tastee Diner is a place just down the street from me.

NY Times Article

Absence

The readers have spoken and asked, nay, demanded that I stop being lame.

Which I will do. Tomorrow. Scout's honor.

I've been quite busy here in A-ville, setting up for our May 3rd Record Release show (CDs available for pre-order at www.siriusbmusic.com) and a whole bunch of other stuff.

But tomorrow I'll return.

Absenteeism

My absence continues, though I promise that it won't be forever. I've been quite busy with a bunch of new work -- tutoring (which I've been doing for some time now) and working for a local handy-man as an assistant of sorts.

I'm sore as hell (did you know that your hand muscles can get sore? I didn't until I dug holes for two days straight.) and sunburnt (I've got a red pate) and scratched and cut. Still, 'tis a good feeling to go home dog tired, hungry, and satisfied with a good days work.

Hiding Out

Hey Y'all -

I've been hiding out lately, but I wanted to share this article about CRACK.

Jersey Food

Here's a great article about food in my native New Jersey

Tetris

A wee video for the day for all those Tetris lovers out there.

This gets a bit old after a minute or two, but it's quite impressive. Enjoy.

Pierre Repondit?

I've been gone for quite some time, but I'm working my way back to the blog. I'll start with this mini-mystery. I've just read an article in the New York Times (read it here) about a French inventor named Édouard-Léon Scott de Martinville. Apparently Edouard, not Edison, is now being credited with making the first recording of sound.

Never mind the fact that his "phonoautograph" was never meant to record sound, but rather a visual representation of sound--researchers were able to apply new technology and aurally read the squiggly lines that this little-known Frenchman left behind. The result? A ten-second recording of "Au clair de la lune," a French folk tune.

Here is my question to you, dear readers. According to the NY Times, the singer (presumably female, though "she" sounds like a little boy to me, but anyway) sings the following words, "A clair de la lune, Pierre repondit." I, however, with my admittedly limited (though quite useful) conversational French, can only hear "A clair de la lune, la lune, la lune."

What do you hear?

(Unfortunately, I can't attach the sound byte here, as I am unable to download it from the NY Times site. You can listen, however, on the page given in the link above).

More on the Tube

More YouTube Craziness....This is perhaps old news to many, but I only discovered it today. Very amusing.

You can check out more of her videos, cameos and press at www.obamagirl.com. I enjoyed Super ObamaGirl.

More Cheetos

(This post relates to the previous post. You may want to start there)

Wow.

YouTube is a strange place. Whilst searching for more Cheetos-related videos, I came across this very strange video. Watch it at your own risk, though I warn you that the image of a masked man in a speedo simulating intercourse with a phallic pillar of compressed Cheetos may be tough to erase from your mind.

I also warn you that I have only watched approximately two minutes of a what seems to be a video of more than eight minutes. As such, I claim absolutely no knowledge of what happens after two minutes.

"Enjoy"

Cheetos

I just read this article in slate about the new Cheetos commercials that are apparently gracing the television waves these days. I have no television, so I have never seen the ads, but I went to YouTube to check them out. The are, simply put, very amusing and quite creepy.

These are almost as good (though not quite) as the Skittles commercials that I put up on this blog last year. You can watch them here. (Scroll to the bottom of the page).







And this is even weirder...

Backpacking

I'm headed off into the woods for the weekend, so there will be no posts for a few days.

Pictures to come soon.

Health in the US

Regarding health care (from the NY Times):

"Are we getting our money’s worth? Not according to the usual measures of public health. The United States ranks 45th in life expectancy, behind Bosnia and Jordan; near last, compared with other developed countries, in infant mortality; and in last place, according to the Commonwealth Fund, a health-care research group, among major industrialized countries in health-care quality, access and efficiency."

Nonsense

What a bunch of nonsense. I've just read an opinion piece in the New York Times that purports that Hillary Clinton's "Experience Advertisement" (that silly, fear mongering commercial with the sleeping children and the red phone in the night) is a racist ad.

I'm amazed at this man's super power, which seems to be the ability to look at something and see in it whatever he likes. I truly am reminded of a paper that I once wrote for an English class in which I claimed that Cambell's soup advertisements used communist imagery to sell their steamy soup.

Read it here

Oh, and so as not to be misunderstood -- I think the commercial is ridiculous and lame -- but most certainly not racist.

More on Liars

Elliiot Spitzer, the current (perhaps not for long) governor of New York, has been caught up in a scandal involving a high-class prostitution ring. Apparently (according to some of the ladies of the night), he was a difficult client. The New York Times reports that,

In a wiretapped conversation after the encounter, the prostitute, Kristen, called her booker to inform her that the session had gone well, and that she did not find the client “difficult,” as other prostitutes apparently had, according to the affidavit.

The booker responds that he, in an apparent reference to Client 9, sometimes asks the women “to do things that, like, you might not think were safe.”

Though I personally do not wish to avail myself of the services of a hooker (high class or otherwise), I don't consider myself sufficiently free of "sin" to begin casting stones at Mr. Spitzer for his nighttime behavior. As far as I am concerned, his sex life has nothing to do with me or the political goings-on in New York. What more concerns me is the vast gulf that Mr. Spitzer's apparent hippocracy represents between his own life and that of his political discourse. As the New York Times writes,

Though his signature issue was pursuing Wall Street misdeeds, as attorney general Mr. Spitzer also had prosecuted at least two prostitution rings as head of the state’s organized crime task force.

In one such case in 2004, Mr. Spitzer spoke with revulsion and anger after announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a high-end prostitution ring out of Staten Island.

“This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multitiered management structure,” Mr. Spitzer said at the time. “It was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring.”

I don't really know what one does in a case like this. I understand that politics requires that Mr. Spitzer speak with conviction and revulsion when discussing the breakup of a prostitution organization. It must be a hard place to be for him, enjoying the company of prostitutes and working at a job that requires that he prosecute them. I can empathize or sympathize or something like that. Still, I'm so utterly sick and tired of the tremendous disconnect between the word and actions of so many politicians. It's like we're living in a country full of sex addicts who are too scared and repressed to even talk about sex.

Well, it will be interesting to see what happens in the coming days. Surely Mr. Spitzer will resign, though he has not yet done so. And hopefully, we'll have a tell-all book to look forward to, giving us the chance to read an autobiographical account of the governor's sex addiction, his fall from grace, and his ultimate redemption.

Earth Day Asheville

Dear All,

I write this post to ask a favor of all my readers, intentional and accidental. Sirius.B, my band, has entered an Earth Day Music Contest, and we need your help to win it. See below for details. Please Vote!

Dear Friends of Sirius.B,

We have entered the Earth Day Asheville Band Competition and we need YOUR VOTE! If we win they’ll give us $1000 and we’ll play a show at the Orange Peel, an important local venue.

It only takes a moment. We’re in the Rock/Funk/Dance category in the link below:

http://www.earthdayasheville.org/musicians.htm

Voting ends March 31 - THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

================

Also, we’ve updated the website. Among other things, you can now purchase CD’s and TShirts from our “Merch” page. --> Go to the website now if you like.

Margaret Jones

Check out this video from Slate. I've got a post in the works that tells all about my experience last night at the PBR (Professional Bull Riding) event in Greenville, SC.

Liars

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

When James Frey's "memoir" a Million LIttle Pieces was exposed as a fake a few years ago, I shook my head ruefully. I, though I hate to admit it, had been tricked by Mr. Frey and his tall tales. I had read the book, and though somewhat incredulous as to some of the more incredible details of his tale, had believed his story.

I am, perhaps, naive when it comes to the written word. I am enthralled and pulled in by tales of personal redemption and the conquest of emotional demons, and I tend to believe that lies are hard to keep and that the truth will generally rise to the top, much as cream used to do before homogenization became an industry standard of dairy production.

My ignorance, it must be said, is somewhat willed. I grew up reading romantasized biographies of famous Americans, reveling in the tales of Davy Crockett, Ben Franklin, and others. At some point, I realized that these stories were not mere retellings of a life, but rather somehow tied to nation-building, to an attempt to instill patriotic feelings in young people.

And still, I am amazed by these liars--amazed by their gall, their balls, and their disrespect for truth. I no longer buy into the Postmodern view of things (though I did at one time, while studying at Cambridge) and reject the idea that truth is an impossible thing to pin down. Truth, or at least "truthiness" (as Steven Colbert says) exists, at least in some approximate form.

I am therefore, dismayed to read the New York Times article about Margaret Seltzer, whose memoir of gang life in Los Angeles was pure, unadulterated bullshit.

I first heard of Margaret Seltzer (though I then knew her as Margaret B. Jones) in the New York Times last week. I read an article about her recent memoir, and of her philanthropic efforts to help gang members. She, the article informed me, was half-Native American, and had been raised in a foster home in Los Angeles. She had joined the Bloods and run drugs for them. Her brothers had been killed young, shot by other gang members. Somehow, she had escaped to Oregon, where she spent her time writing and cooking up delicious food with "Big Mama's" recipes.

All of this is a lie. Margaret Seltzer is a privileged white girl whose sister exposed her lie (shame on her too for betraying her relative!) after seeing her picture in the New York Times article.

And so, not only do I feel betrayed, but I also wonder at the magnitude of her denial. How could she not know that she would be exposed? I try to think of myself, of trying to publish a book that tells all about my life as a drug-addicted, alcoholic circus performer. Would not someone, at some point, that I have met over the years, see a picture of me and say, "Wait a minute! He most certainly is not what he says he is! I went to high school with that punk ass!"

How can these people really believe that they'll get away with this?

Even worse, perhaps, is the recent exposure of fake Holocaust tales, such as the case of "Misha", in which a woman talks of fleeing the Holocaust, walking across Europe, and even consorting with wolves in the forest. It took eleven years, but she has been exposed as well.

I guess this all has something to do with the scale of the lie. If you scream something loudly enough, write it down, and let the whole world see it, people tend to believe. Most people, like me, can't imagine that someone could be so dumb as to believe that they'll actually get away with something like this. And so, paradoxically, they do. For a time.

Read below some articles associated with these stories.

Margaret Lies

So Does James Frey

Margaret Inspires!

Girl Not Raised By Wolves!

More Octopuses

My apologies to those that aren't fans of amazing things, but here's yet another octopus video for y'all to enjoy. This one focuses on the Indonesian Mimic Octopus.

David Horvitz

This guy is pretty damn cool and most certainly worth checking out.

David Horvitz